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5 Years

I haven't blogged on this livejournal account in nearly 5 years. Part of this is due to the fact that livejournal has diminished in popularity over the past five years, and now I'm blogging here at cdecell for my Gender and Computerization class. In a lot of ways I'm rediscovering my love of blogging because this project is giving me the opportunity to analyze my feelings on issues. So what has changed in the last five years?

  • I actually moved back to Idaho for a time. I spent a little over a year there living with my parents and volunteering with a group of junior high students. Most of whom are graduating this year and going off to college

    • I'm only a little sad I couldn't talk any of them into women's college

  • Since I graduated from MHC, I have worked as a phone operator, a librarian's assistant, a youth intern, a bookstore clerk, as an editorial assistant at an anthropology journal, and as the assistant to the Slavic Librarian

  • I earned a second BA in history with a minor in English when I went back to school to study engineering

    • I learned that taking physics from professors who were more interested in telling the class about Mormon online dating than teaching were going to assure that I never became a physicist

    • I developed a love for French history and history of science

    • I also became more interested in gender than I was, even at Mount Holyoke

    • I accepted that short of winning the lottery, I was never going to have the time or money to peruse the science education I really want

    • I applied and was accepted to the Russian and East European Institute at Indiana University

  • I met and started dating my boyfriend of nearly 3 years Paul

    • Paul is pretty awesome and even though he thinks he's more cultured than me, he still watches NASCAR with me every Sunday

  • I added a dual degree in Information Science, which is probably the closest to doing hard science I am going to get to

    • Yes, I do very much miss studying math and science

    • I read articles on math and particle physics as a hobby

    • I am going to start MITx's course on Circuits and Electronics

      • My boyfriend is nerdy too and is probably going to take it with me

  • I started studying Romanian in addition to Russian

    • If the funding goes through, I will be in Romania this summer

  • I'm still uncertain as to whether I will pursue a phd

  • I joined a CSA, which may not seem like a big deal, but I've been trying to become more green in my actions, and supporting local agriculture has seemed like a good way to start.

  • I make my own bath and body products

  • I make collage art from old magazines and other objects

  • I'm a lot less stressed out by the world than I was as an undergrad, or even in my first year of graduate school

  • I have come to accept that I will never fully fit in with any one type of person because I am a very eclectic personality and have embraced myself and all my interests

So I'm sure there is more to share, but for now, I am going to sign off and go write my gender blog.

The I'm a Greg Biffle Fan Girl Blog

If you could say anything for me it is that I am a dedicated fan to those I deem my favorites. Generally, I have realistic expectations of those I admire. For example, I believe that Tony Stewart will win another championship, and every week I know he can win. This would seem absurd if I were a crazy Sterling Marlin fan girl, but as a any good Tony Stewart fan knows, he’s probably the best race car driver of the modern era, he can win races in any kind of car, on any track. Realistic expectations.
Most people cannot understand my affinity with Greg Biffle. I find something incredibly endearing about him, he is a more soft-spoken than Tony Stewart, though I have seen Kevin Harvick try to kick his ass. He is actively involved in his charity foundation for pet well-being, which donates to no-kill animal shelters, and is a frequent bungee jumper (how cool is that?). Yet, some still insist on referring to him as a “bug eyed moron” while their precious Dale Jr. can do no wrong. Personally, I like Dale Jr. He seems like an okay person. Both Jr. and Biffle have had off seasons, Biffle’s was most certainly last year, while Jr’s was in 2005. Both are former Busch series champions, Jr in 1998 and 1999, Biffle in 2002. Biffle started racing in the NASCAR series a little later than Jr. While Jr. was winning his first Busch title, Biffle was wining Craftsman Truck Rookie of the Year honors. While Biffle was winning his Truck Championship in 2000, Jr. was fighting Matt Kenseth for Rookie of the Year honors in the Cup Series, Kenseth eventually winning.
Biffle has been racing full time in the Cup series since 2003. During which time he has had 11 wins to Jr’s 10 wins in the same period. Finished runner up to Tony Stewart for the Championship in 2005, Jr finished 3rd in the standings in 2003, his best finish in the standings thus far. Given the statistics it is actually harder to argue that one driver is really all that much better than the other. Biffle has a bit of an edge, but making attacks on his physical appearance does not actually make your driver better. Thus far, this season the Bif has bested Jr at Daytona, where both were caught up in unfortunate accidents. Biffle finished 25th Jr 32nd. This week I suspect Biffle will best Jr again, but for the sake of argument, I will keep track of it for a while and see. If Greg improves this season, the way I suspect he will beat Jr convincingly in the overall standings. As far as I am concerned, this is a realistic expectation.


Jan. 11th, 2007

In 2007, Xandrina resolves to...
Find a better fanfiction.
Give up sleeping.
Start a sarcasm fund.
Take whispmelle writing.
Buy new movies.
Pay for my class discussions on time.
Get your own New Year's Resolutions:

While Kristel plans on eating more pirates, I definitely plan on giving up sleeping.

An update! *Gasp*

I often forget about this journal. My life is so hectic, and I am really not convinced that me giving trivial updates about my life does anyone any good, but I guess an update is overdue, as I believe my last post was in July and it was some trivial mem, so here is what I have been up to.

I have returned to Mount Holyoke where I am doing a crazy amount of work. It is pretty normal of Mount Holyoke students to be this kind of overachiever though, so I feel I am in good company. At the moment I am taking 20 credits, and 16 of them are at the 300 level. So I am pretty busy academically. Additionally, I am the treasurer of two students orgs, the president of one, and I’m sure I do other things that make sure I have no free time. ;)

Beyond that I am just trying to keep my sanity. I am back in Idaho for a few days because my mother is convinced that I am going to find something amazing that will make me want to move back here after I graduate. I am not so sure, but if I can find time to think for myself when it isn’t two am, perhaps I would figure something out.

Don't ever feel
That you're alone
I'll never let you down
I'll never leave you dry
Don't fall apart
Don't let it go
~Feeder “Feeling a Moment”

I feel this is my life motto right now. I seem to be dropping everything for friends in crisis, and I love my friends and want to be helpful, but sometimes I am just running on empty. I just need some time away from everyone and their problems. The trouble is right now seems to be a really rough time for many of my friends, and as they have been there for me in hard times, I owe it to them to be there for them. Sometime soon things have to start going well for them. I wish them all the happiness in the world, they just each have to get through their individual rough patches and life will be better. Right? Okay so maybe I am delusional, but I really want people to find their bliss, so I have to believe that suffering is temporary.

Anyway I will try to update more frequently. If anything I can give you that latest update on T's crisis... which I will likely tell you about.

The Worlds Longest Meme

So I just completed the worlds longest meme. Life is crazy. Feel free to drop me a line if you really want all of the details.

(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)

I miss somebody right now. × I don't watch much TV these days.  (I watch far too much TV right now. During the school year though...) I own lots of books.  (I'm working on it)
× I wear glasses or contact lenses.  (not as much as I should) × I love to play video games. × I've tried marijuana.
I've watched porn movies.  (Technically it was an academic endeavor) × I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship. I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
I curse sometimes.  (Who the hell doesn't? ;)) I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. × I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
it goes on...Collapse )

It's Crumbling

It is strange how I always believed that transferring to Mount Holyoke was not only the best thing for me, but something that would work out. I worked incredibly hard and did everything in my power to get to through everything, who know that mono was going to be the least of my worries in the grand scheme of graduating from Mount Holyoke.

Money is the bane of my existance. Unless I manage to put together some sort of miracle, I will not be back at Mount Holyoke in the fall because I just do not have to finances or parental support that they seem to think I do. I'm not saying that it is supposed to be easy, but it should be doable, and $12,000 is three counties over from doable. I couldn't even work all summer without spending a cent and be able to fix this. :(

Watching Felicity

I was watching Felicity with Bonnie tonight and realizing two episodes in that though she does so much that would embarrass me, that is because she reminds me so much of myself. I sometimes might wish that I would have found a boy to stalk to college, and when I get in my really honest moods, sure, I probably would have told him. I did not do this of course, I followed my best friend to college and then when she moved on to brighter pastures I found my own way. It may be a bit rocky and I may have absolutely no idea what I am doing with my life, but I think that is okay, because I went to Mount Holyoke for me, and whatever comes of that should be for the best because I did it by my own initiative.

The side effect of the whole I went to Mount Holyoke thing means that I am not going to have my RA fall for me, and I am likely going to be much more focused on school than boys. I never was one of those girls who built their lives around guys anyway, though sometimes it feels like this is the perfect recipe for ending up alone forever. I guess it could happen that way, but I have an inexplicable better outlook. I think things are going to work out, and I don't know why. Maybe I have to think in the positive realm or else I will not be able to funtion, or maybe the rest of my life has worked out, even this crazy move to MA, and that is why I think it will work out.

So for my friends going away for the summer to places beyond the reaches of internet, have a beautiful and amazing summer. I am going to try to do the same.

My LiveJournal Sitcom
Visiting xandrina (SHOWTIME, 10:30): xandrina (Angela Bassett) buys ladyrobyn (Nikki Cox)'s old shampoo. The week after, dracos_army (Elizabeth Hurley) claims to be xunderhill (Morgan Freeman) in a job interview. In the next town over, sappho_cried (Rob Lowe) gets in trouble with the law when xandrinamalfoy (Tori Spelling) discusses ice cream sandwichs with an undercover cop. That weekend, spundle (Marlon Wayans) misinterprets an email from princesszoya (Demi Moore) and tries to get into a hotel for free. Upstairs, magickpotion (Dean Martin) ruins whispmelle (Claire Forlani)'s favourite pocketknife while house-sitting. Zany antics ensue.
What's Your LiveJournal Sitcom? (by rfreebern)
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Parting ways with beloved friends

This year has been one of the best in recent memory, and perhaps the best of my life. This may lead you to question the quality of my life prior to this, but I would argue though I had a good life, certain things fell into place this year that made my life infinitely better. For the first time in my life I found a place where I belong and people who care about me and make me feel secure enough to be completely myself around them. These amazing friends are probably the best gift the gods have ever bestowed upon me. This is not to diminish the wonders of the friendships that have been created prior to this, they are each special in their own way, but these friendships I have made here are exactly what I needed when I needed it.
Many of these friends are leaving me shortly. Scattering across the Earth on new and wondrous adventures, but like my friend Stephanie said after she left, it is as though everyone is still with me even when we are thousands of miles apart, and Steph and I are thousands of miles apart right now, but unlike Steph, I am much more emotional about the parting, mostly because I do not know when we might all be together once more. There is very little certainty in life, and I find that hard to deal with. I am a bit of a control freak.
I sometimes regret not coming here sooner. One year with these amazing women simply does not feel like enough. I wish I had more time with them to get to know them better and solidify some of the most important friendships of my lifetime, but I cannot help but feel lucky for what time we had together, and hopefully one day we will all meet up again and create more breathtaking memories for me to savor. Until then, I have to learn how to bid my much-loved friends farewell. Part of me wants to be upset with the gods that the time has flown by so swiftly and that I spent so much of our time together with mono, unfortunately, I realize that the time we had was a girt. I only hope I learned all there was to learn, and gained from this experience all that I was meant to gain. I hop I touched their lives as well. So here’s to you my friends, may the journeys you now embark upon allow you to grow and experience the world in wonderful ways you never even dared dream were possible, and may we one day meet again and embrace our friendship as if it were today.

Oh the wonders of procrastination

I should be doing homework, but I found these on goodbush's livejournal and decided that I too needed this.

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